This subject has been bothering me for as long as I can remember. There comes a point in someone's life where negativity and rude, nosy people are not welcome. It's sad to think that it could come down to cutting people out of our lives because of how they treat Aaron or us. I feel awful for my husband. I've watched him get beat down and judged too many times to mention over the years and then I have to put the pieces back together again. It's a shame that a person makes a bad choice or a mistake (or Heaven forbid a few) and they have to relive said mistake(s) for the rest of their lives. My husband can't make a move in his life without being under a microscope, and with us being married, we both get it. Somehow we're both irresponsible, incompetent people who can't seem to do anything right. I am sick of it. Aaron is really sick of it. We're grown ups, we're married, end of story.
As an example, recently we have decided to get our house ready to put on the market. We've had quite a few showings over the last few days, so we're hopeful that things will move along nicely for us. We decided to upgrade to a bigger home. Aaron and I have been planning to do this for a lot of years because of the kids and needing more space. Well, fate stepped in and we added another family member to our brood, my mom, so now we definitely have to move to a bigger place. We're all under each other, and our teen is still bunking with his seven-year-old brother. Yeah, it's time. We're way overdue. Of course, people have an opinion about our decision. I just don't understand. We keep to ourselves and don't tell people what we think they should do or make them feel bad about themselves. In fact, we support people's decision-making and try to make them feel better about everything. There was one time, as an example, Aaron's mom called him trying to get advice about what she should do about traveling to Colorado. Aaron's dad was not happy about it - the flight, the money being spent, etc. She called Aaron to talk about it and naturally he supported her. He told her that you only live once so do what you want to do. That's how it's done. I would've been highly disappointed in Aaron if he told her not to go and gave her grief over it. Honestly, that was really between her and Aaron's dad, not Aaron's place. It had nothing to do with us, nor was it any of our business, but she called anyway. Oh, and you don't ask people for personal, private financial information! I was disgusted, disappointed, shocked, and very angry. It's none of anyone's business!
Oddly enough, our business is apparently everyone's business. We make a move (or a mistake) and it's all over town. We're made out to be idiots or a charity case. This is why I think Aaron is learning to keep things to himself. I, personally, have never been made to feel like I am less. Aaron feels this way, too. I have seen him put his tail between his legs and lower his head in shame because of the backlash he gets. Trust me when I say, this makes my job as his wife much more difficult. I shouldn't have to build him back up because he should never be at that level to start with.
We have gotten backlash about our pregnancies, buying new furniture to replace our old, broken, outdated stuff, carpet, etc. The comments were completely inappropriate and unwelcome. It would just be nice for someone to be genuinely supportive, positive, and happy for all of us.
I think my husband is amazing - flaws, mistakes and all. He has done so much for us and we love him so much! He will never be less to us. In fact, we are very proud of all that he does or has done.
That's all I have. Rant over.