Sep 18, 2014

Finally, A Long Awaited Diagnosis

From the start of it all, I never thought in a million years that I would be one of those moms who had a child who was different.  When I looked at my newborn for the first time, watching him grow into an infant, and then into a toddler, I never knew we would be faced with any big challenges along the way.  We have dealt with multiple surgeries, many trying moments of administering anesthesia (and waking up), weekly therapies, doctor appointment after doctor appointment, and ABR (Auditory Brainstem Response) to detect hearing loss, a brain scan, blood tests, eight months of hearing tests, months of casts and leg braces, and for the last two years, behavioral challenges.  I feel we have been bounced all over the place and our medical bills prove it.

It has been quite a long road to say the least.  I've had people all around me with similar complaints and their children getting the help they needed, so I felt so alone and lost for the longest time.  Well, we finally got our magical day.  We had Liam evaluated for ADHD, SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), and Aspergers.  It took us about two and a half weeks to get the results.  These last two weeks have been a real nail-biter.  I had a lot of emotions running through my body, but at the end of the day, I was happy.  There was finally a feeling of relief.  I just wanted to find out and move on with treatments, medications, etc.  I wanted to be able to do my own research on the subject, whatever that may have been.  I was ready.  We were ALL ready.

When I posted the news on Facebook, I had a friend send me a private message and this is what it read:

"I was reading your post about Liam and was filled a million thoughts and emotions. It was really brave of you guys to seek out those answers. We all want to do what's best for our little ones and sometimes that's a harsh reality. Not that it's a bad reality but from my side I don't want to think there is anything "wrong" with my boys. That would be like a failure on my part. (selfish thought huh). I know in the back of my mind there has always been the question of autism for Judah. I'm just greatly encouraged by you and your husband's courage to seek answers you just might not want to know but in the end it's better to know and be prepared then to always try to figure it out. Thanks for the help even though you didn't know you were helping me."

If I can help someone, anyone, I feel like I have accomplished the most amazing task.   Seeking answers for as long as we did about broke us, but we somehow found the courage and strength to keep moving on.  My friend was right.  You never want there to be anything wrong with your children, but God gives us these special people for a reason.  Not just to test our patience, but He knows that we're the right parents for the job.  We love Liam so much.  I can't describe how deeply I feel for him in a blog post.  God chose us.  I look at that as a huge honor for Him to have that much faith in us as parents.  We're doing okay.  Actually, we're doing more than okay.  We're content.  We're finally at peace.  Why?  Because we now know what it is and know that our baby boy is happy.  It doesn't bother him a bit.  He's always going to be our amazing little boy no matter what.  Since his disorder is mild, it won't be as challenging as a child with severe Autism.  That eased my mind a bit.  We will truck along just as we have been, but we will have to change our lifestyle a little to accommodate him.  He comes first.

Every day going forward we will celebrate him and the wonderful little person he has become.  He has come so far in this journey.  By the way, his shirt in the first picture really does say it all.

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